Being in the early years of 20s, I often hear a lot about marriages and commitment. On seeing one of my friends get married, I got that “my team is one player down” feeling. As I say, I can only write well when I feel something. The trending twitter hashtag #MakeMarriageBetterIn4Words is the reason behind this post. If you are looking for stuff like “how to make marriages work” or “How to get rid of dominating husband” etc, This post is going to disappoint you big time. On a lighter note, I still don’t understand why do someone has to ask google to make a marriage work. If you have reached that point where you have to ask google about such issues, you are in deep trouble buddy. Just type ‘how to…’ in google search and you’ll see some astonishing suggestions. I am pretty sure that a lot of you are going to try this in some time. Give a minute to this crazy exercise and your smile may just come out of the closet. Now I realize that I chose a misleading title for this post. Coming to the point, these are my four words to make marriages better:
“Don’t name it marriage”
P.S.: I like to stir up the minds by writing open-ended posts.
©4yearoldadult
4 Year Old Adult 
A great post 4 year adult… I do wonder though if the thought will survive in the next ten years..!!! Being a little older to you, and pretty much on the same boat of ideology… I can tell you that the priorities keep changing especially in these years !! So that is for you to see later how the marriage tag suits you…Also, cannot finish the comment before I congratulate you on the amazing writing talent you have…!! Best wishes and cheers 😀
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I agree with your point about the dynamic nature of our beliefs. Experiences teach us, and they make us the way we are. I have seen great couples falling apart after choosing to get married. These things led me to a conclusion that the term marriage brings a burden of pressure, and we often get bogged down. As of now, thought of marriage is like dreaming of touching the horizon literally. This is because I cannot get married just for the sake of getting married, and I do not see myself loving anyone in the recent future. About 5-6 months back, my thoughts were different, so 10 years are obviously going to overhaul some of my beliefs. Also, I am quite unpredictable and versatile by nature, so, one can never predict. Thanks a lot for giving time to my post and appreciating it. Have a good time ahead. 🙂
P.S.: “Little older” can be replaced by “A bit wiser” 😉
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Haa you are indeed very kind to tag me wise.. Not sure about that though!!! And i totally agree on the fact that if one has to get married or commit in any kind of relationship, he/ she shouldn’t compromise and perhaps do it only if it’s what one wants!!! Also, the youth just started for you so i wish you lots of flirt and fun for now, the serious stuff can wait!!! Cheers 😀
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As of now, the only important stuff is my career. I am living life with a selfish attitude nowadays. Wish you luck in your endeavors. 🙂
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Agree with you completely! Nicely written! And yeah the googling thing, absolutely correct. “How to get pregnant” is always at the top xD
Whatever it is, as we say in India, ‘marriages are made in heaven’. There’s no quick fix to make it work better or make it work at all. It’s just that most people nowadays are lazy and don’t really want to put an effort into this kind of thing.
P.S, on a totally unrelated note, are you single? 😛
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To begin with, let me complete the quote: “Marriages are made in heaven, broken down in the moral-police ruled states of India.” I have just boosted my offense-list .
In my case today, first Google suggestion is “How to get into recovery mode of Android”. This has just added black pepper to my wounds of the past week.
The youth usually focuses upon changing the way administration works, my desire to overhaul the system which runs this institution of marriages.
Since there are no relatives out here, so, I can freely say that my relationship status is quite complicated.
P.S.: For your username, a salute from the highest point accessible to me right now i.e. my desk. Keep up the attitude.
Thanks for giving me a chance to write so much in one reply. 🙂
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The honour, sir, is completely mine! Thanks for the compliment! Appreciate it 😀
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I nominate you for the 3 day Quote challenge . write a quote each day for 3 consecutive days . I’m sure your day will go great while you read those quotes
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Hey there, Thanks a lot for the nomination. I accept the challenge. Check out my blog to find out. 🙂
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I am not sure how you meant your four words. “Don’t call it marriage” I don’t think you mean don’t get married. I think what you meant was, don’t do things JUST because you are married. Which is very crucial. I guess.
I will let you know once I am married!
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You have understood the message correctly. From my personal experiences, I have seen that the name ‘Marriage’ creates a pressure of expectations and it kills the essence of the relationship. My point is, if somebody is really willing to spend his/her life with someone, then why do they need that tag called ‘Marriage’. It may sound quite anti-social, but this is coming out of my practical mindset. 🙂
P.S.: Blessings well in advance for your marriage 😉
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thank you 🙂
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How to make a marriage work? Marriage takes work. It doesn’t just work out. People and circumstances change, so each person has to continually recommit to each other and the the relationship. As my marriage was falling apart and we were going to marriage counseling, the counselor said something that I never forgot: spouse often treat strangers in their home better than they treat each other. Think about that. We are more kind and courteous to strangers–offering them something to eat or drink, making sure they are comfortable, etc. than we are to our own spouses. From that day on, I vowed to be at least as thoughtful to my husband as I would be to a houseguest. Unfortunately, he didn’t do the same and the marriage ended. I only say “unfortunately” because he didn’t learn that lesson of basic human kindness. I’m in a beautiful, resilient, loving, respectful relationship with a man who I never would have gotten to know had my ex-husband not left me.
Your four words, don’t call it marriage, has wisdom. We think that if we are married, then we’re done having to work at the relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth!
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I am honored by the fact that you saw wisdom in my words. I only tried to give a comment on a lighter note. I completely agree with what your counselor said about marriages. I was in a 5year long relationship and I have experienced that phase when we treat strangers better. It is not that we were bad to each other, just that we took each other for granted. If we take our lessons, such experiences makes us better as a person. Unfortunately, that relationship got over because of an adamant hypocrite. It is unfortunate for her that she failed to be with my improved version. 🙂
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Anyone who has been in a failed relationship understands how hard it is to keep it fresh. I’m in a great one and I work (happily) to keep it alive. I’ve learned from the past…and so has he. 🙂
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Our past gives us experience and makes us wiser. Have a blessed weekend ahead. 🙂
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You, too. Thanks!
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How to:
Tie a tie
Take a screen shot with your Mac
Boil an egg
Download your YouTube video
That’s what came up on my screen.
In the past I asked how to keep squirrels from eating your roses, And the advice worked: sprinkle cayenne pepper over the roses and the immediate area.
So who knows, it might be worth a try “How to save a marriage” — you just might get some thought-provoking advice.
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I accept the fact that a bit of online surfing helps us with our issues, but at the same time, the reader needs to keep an open mind while going through the stuff. One has to weigh the suggestion, and then implement it. Proper use of the internet can do wonders. Thanks a lot for stopping by the post and expressing your views on it. 🙂
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That’s really crazy with asking google. Guess that’s just the modern way of going the fast and easy way. Which won’t work out. I married at the age of 23 and was in a crisis with 39. I would have never gone to a councelling since my feelings were simply gone due to many happenings. I have been convinced that if we had a chance we have to make the effort to understand each other and makes steps towards each other. Now 6 years later we are still married.
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Feels great to hear about your happy years of marriage, I wish it goes on forever. Life takes time to get settled, I have realized it at my current age of 23. Previously, I used to think that 30s is old, but now I believe that 30s are the best years of life.
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Are you kidding? Get 40 and you know what living really means… haha! Honestly, I never felt better, healthier and even younger than today!!! So you can be looking forward to your future 😉
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So now, even 40s are young. You have assured me about my 40s. I will look up to you to inspire me towards staying young forever. 🙂
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What a wonderful perspective 😉
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Indeed 😀
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😀
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I have been thinking about the nature of marriage a bit lately as the issue of same-sex marriage has hit the headlines in Australia. Quite frankly, I’ve wondered why anybody gets married when so many marriage end in divorce and there are many more antogonistic marriages which somehow stay together.
I have put a few things into Google when I’ve been at the end of the road with perhaps an issue the kids have or the going has got pretty tough. I think I Googled how to disappear once after a particularly bad couple of days too. That was an interesting read.
What amazes me is the people who have to consult their Facebook friends over a small decision. Can’t they make up their own minds? Apparently not. Not being able to make a deciision seems to be a widespread problem. Great post. xx Rowena
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To begin with, thanks a lot for sharing your views and appreciating this post. I have seen people getting married just for the sake of getting married. Such decisions spoil the life completely. I have seen such couples, which makes me feel that even divorce is a lifeline. Some less privileged ones, living in so called morally-sound societies, cannot even opt for divorce. If one wants to be with someone forever, they do they need the name ‘MARRIAGE’. Almost all my good friends agree with me, I do not know where the hypocrites are coming from. 😉
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It’s really difficult. There was a very good article which appeared in the Sydney Morning Herlad on the weekend. Julia Baird is a Christian and a feminist and her brother is the NSW Premier, as was her father. I went through uni with her. Here’s a link: http://www.smh.com.au/comment/even-among-christians-there-is-strong-support-for-samesex-marriage-20150605-ghh2vp.html
Some fod for thought xx Rowena
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Thanks for sharing that well-balanced article. I was astonished by the fact that 48% of the Australians do not believe in God. Society needs to move forward with time, it cannot hang on to its centuries old beliefs. That was a good article. 🙂
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You’re welcome. Those stats surprised me as well in some ways and yet not. Quite a change in my own lifetime.
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I feel happy about the change, evolution leads to an overall improvement of our lives 🙂
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Agreed..!!
Very well written.. Short yet complete..!!
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Thanks a lot for your kind words 🙂
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